"Help for a Christian marriage" is not only for marriages which are a little rocky, but is preventative help as well to keep your marriage alive.

The first union that God created after His fellowship with man was the Christian marriage. You marriage happened before your children and homeschooling and because of that fact only you need to strive to keep it in its place of importance.

There are few marriages that never hit a rocky patch. If you have one of those then you have been blessed by God in finding your partner. Books have been written on this topic so my goal is not to rehash those thoughts.

Rather my goal is to help you understand that whether your husband put his clothes in the washing basket or buy you flowers is not the issue. Help for your Christian marriage starts with YOU!

The issue is: How is your heart towards your husband?
The many issues that we have with our husbands very often pale when we draw closer to God and His plan for our lives.

This does not negate the fact that there are many husbands who have many heart issues that need to be dealt with but if we can trust God for our salvation which is eternal, how much more so can we trust God to change hard hearts?

But woman often start in the wrong place and pray one of three things:

"Lord change my husband so I can love him more" or

"Lord please talk to my husband so that he…." Or

"Lord please help me cope better with my husband."

Or any variation on the above.

Instead we should pray:

"Lord. Make me into a woman whom my husband can love like Christ loves the church."

Now that is a prayer that God can work with in a Christian marriage. He will expose your heart and as you surrender He can work like gentle surgeon to bring healing and wholeness.

We often look for healing and wholeness from our husbands, yet they too are damaged and bleeding from their own heart wounds. God brings into your life the husband that will expose your heart. When a fight happens we need to ask God “Lord what is it you are showing me?”

So, how then does one survive when your marriage is tough? We need to qualify for God’s grace and we do that by obeying Him and submitting to our husbands. If we hold onto unforgiveness then we block God’s healing process in our lives and we perpetuate the cycle of unhappiness in our marriages.

A wise man once said to me:”A husband carries the burden of a wife’s un-verbalized expectations.” What does your body language, your under currents, your tone say to your husband?

We were created to be our husband’s helpmeet. The word “helpmeet” has the same meaning as the Holy Spirit in its descriptive sense. The Holy Spirit is the power or force behind what God is doing. But only if we are whole can we be this power in our husband’s life.

Now for the practical things:

Make sure the things that he needs done in the natural are done

1. Make sure he has decent meals.
2. Make sure you get his washing done.
3. Make sure you pay the bills.
4. Make sure you do the errands he requires.

Make sure you cater for his physical needs

1. Do not leave your marriage open to temptation.
2. Let him know he is the one you love.
3. Click here for some romantic ideas for married couples.

Keep the spiritual covering

1. Pray for him and his walk with Jesus.
2. Pray for his job.
3. Pray for him to remain pure.
4. Pray for him in his role as father and leader of the household.

I have put together a recommended list of further resources for married couples. They are on a password protected page. To get the password, please use the form provided below.

For Married Couples Please note that all fields followed by an asterisk must be filled in. First Name* First Name* E-mail Address* E-mail Address* Age and marriage years* Age and marriage years*

---

Return to top of Help for a Christian marriage