The home can be a very unhappy place when children wont do their chores. A vicious cycle can begin which ends in a yelling mom and very unhappy children. Many moms want to have their children work well and quickly...so let me take you through some steps to help you when children won’t do their chores.

There are a few categories for this type of behavior:

Dawdling over chores

Not staying focused

Blatant disobedience

Age related issues

For children who won’t do their chores as they dawdle over them or loose their focus, there is nothing better than a mom who is willing to work alongside her child and train them in the habit of attention. At the same time she is able to train her children in the habit of perfect execution.

My strategy for my dawdling child is to make sure I have set aside additional time in my own chore time so that I can come alongside this child and do the work with them. When I notice a child’s attention is drifting I will call their focus back to the job at hand.

It is very important to do this as you are near to the child and not yell at them from the kitchen or another room in the home. The difference is one of a commander or one of a mentor.

For a child who battles to focus, they will probably have this character trait with many other areas. Perhaps it shows up in their schoolwork, activities and relationships. Using the same mentorship as described above you can come alongside your child and gently draw their attention to the job at hand.

For a child who looses focus and thus won’t do their chores, it works very well to have a limited amount for them to do well rather than a whole host of chores that they will get confused over. It is also helpful for this child to have a printed list , even pictorial, that they can tick off until they have learnt the habit of attention.

For children who won’t do their chores due to blatant disobedience you need to take a different tack. It starts with you assessing your parenting style as well as what you are expecting your children to do.

Here are some thoughts to consider :

Am I encouraging my children in their chores?

Am I training my children in how to do their chores properly?

Am I just yelling out instructions?

Do I have the correct expectations by age?

If you feel that you are OK in the above points then you need to deal with your disobedient child firmly and consistently as you would in any other situation when your child is blatantly disobedient. This may mean loss of privilegdes or the removal of toys left lying around, perhaps.

Lastly, when your children won’t do their chores for any of these reasons perhaps you need to assess whether the chores you are setting for them are age related and that you are not expecting too much from your children.

It is also very important to remember that while you want the work done, your relationship with your children is more important. Remember too as you train your children to do their chores with perfect execution, that you are training them for a lifetime. Be sure to visit my age appropriate chore lists for ideas and samples.

STOP PRESS

Be sure to check out my new E-book Tips for Successful Kids Chores - ideal for moms wanting to implement a chore system in their home! It also includes a fun and easy to use CHORE POCKET SYSTEM for under 10's.

For more info Click here!

Other articles you may be interested in:

Lifeskills books for kids
Paid chore systems

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